The Beginning of a NOW Journey
16 July 2025
Delaney Eng, a participant of this year’s NOW Leaders, recounts her personal journey with the programme so far - from applying, to attending the retreat and forging bonds with her NOW sisters. Moving from initial hesitation and self-doubt to a transformative experience of connection, clarity, and self-acceptance, she shares how NOW Leaders is giving her a safe and supportive space to grow.
I knew about the Network of Women (NOW) programme from my colleagues who had shared stories of earlier participants. However, I had never thought of myself as a possible candidate for the programme. In hindsight, this signals an issue that women in the conservation space, amongst others, are generally not acquainted with the value of formal learning in wellbeing and conservation leadership.
Earlier in the year, the opportunity of me applying for NOW Leaders was offered to me by my supervisor as a form of self-development. I jumped at the chance, feeling both eager and apprehensive, musing over what kind of a journey I had just signed up for.
Uncertainty
I was accepted into the programme! As I read the introductory material and programme schedule, I started to grow nervous. I was honoured to be one of the 15 women selected to join this year’s NOW Leaders cohort out of over 100 applicants from the region. But I started to worry that I may be 'under-qualified' or unable to meet the expectations of the programme. In my subconscious, I felt like I had to bring my 'A-game' to the sessions and be in a ready state to take on more advanced formal leadership training towards scaling my impact in conservation.
Delaney (front row, second in from the left), together with the rest of the NOW Leaders 2025 cohort.
At our first online session, Jules and Sari, our facilitators, led us through a grounding session gently and patiently. It was the first time I had experienced a grounding session conducted online, but there was already some sense of assurance for me that we were all on this journey together. Thinking back now, the fact that I remember this session so vividly shows how present I was in the moment and how effective the grounding was.
Discovery
I met my fellow NOW Leaders – who had journeyed from various parts of Southeast Asia – at the in-person retreat in Luang Prabang, Lao PDR. Each day was a balanced combination of practising mindfulness to prepare ourselves and internalise our learnings, trying our hand at adopting practical tools to protect our wellbeing and chart our way forward, all while sharing and exchanging ideas with each other. We progressed from acknowledging our wellbeing mattered to digging deep to identify our core values, mapping out our vision, and then translating that into a practical action plan.
In the laid back and culturally-rich city of Luang Prabang, Lao PDR, the venues selected were ideal for us to pause in our daily grind and reflect.
By the end of the retreat, it turned out that my anxiety had been unwarranted. I wasn't there to be the 'perfect' version of Delaney, I was there to be an authentic, 'imperfect' self - one who could acknowledge and accept her vulnerability while recognising her identity and strengths. All this wouldn't have been possible without the safe space we had created amongst the group and with the delivery team. This allowed me to express my emotions comfortably. I appreciated that I had the chance to experience this rollercoaster of a ride, from not fully knowing what to expect, to the build-up, culminating in a light bulb moment - realising that I can do it!
Having heart-to-heart chats in a treehouse, enjoying daily circle time on the sunbathed verandah, and making connection and friendships while we cruised down Mekong River at sunset.
Courage
The retreat was the start of an amazing journey of self-discovery and conservation leadership. Since the experience, I’ve been practicing some of the tiny habits I set during the sessions and have been able to check-off some items on my action plan. All this is progress towards achieving the vision I set for myself.
I now know that I am equipped with the necessary tools and support for my own wellbeing and I have demonstrated to myself that I am capable. I look forward to diving into the rest of the programme - learning how to build on this visibility and as a collective to discover the greater impact we can have together in conservation.
Amazing!
Delaney Eng, Senior Manager, Mandai Nature
Delaney at the NOW Leaders 2025 retreat: “I was there to be an authentic, 'imperfect' self - one who could acknowledge and accept her vulnerability while recognising her identity and strengths.”
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